I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I smell stomach acid.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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