Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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