I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
