oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize