what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
