would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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