Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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