You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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