Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
