Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
