I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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