Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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