so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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