I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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