She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
