Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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