I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
