arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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