brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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