I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
splinters make it hard to masturbate
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
