I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
