you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
