just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
