she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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