hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
