He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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