Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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