It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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