I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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