After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize