Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
