i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you inspire me to be a worse person
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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