first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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