Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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