is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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