Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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