So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
