Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
