I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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