he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
