He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
