It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
