So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
