what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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