just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
