I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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