Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
