dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
