well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have fence marks all over my body
So vagazzling was a success
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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