my soul wont recognize me after tonight
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
tell me about the eggs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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