How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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