we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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