never play flip cup with pint glasses
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
