I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
