it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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