just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize