Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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