Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
