It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize