Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
