i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Two words: blizzard sex
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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