but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize