so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize