apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
