Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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