Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
